A Handy Post-Apple Event Guide for the Geek


The internet can be a cruel place. Before you rifle off your thoughts on the newest i-thing, do yourself a favor. First, take a deep breath. Feel better? Good. Now read this list before you hit “post”.

  1. Remember, you probably aren’t the intended market. Do you understand the difference between bash and tcsh? Trust me on this one. Put down the laptop.
  2. Never post about the device on the first day. As self-rightous as you feel right now, you’re probably wrong. Your gut-reaction will only solidify how terrible you are at prediction. But you won’t know it until someone publicly embarrasses you 5 years later when the 3rd revision of i-thing is the hottest product since negative blogging.
  3. You don’t know shit about producing/engineering physical products. You understand manufacturing schedules? Consumer trends? So you know exactly what Apple makes per device? What the burn rate is? What the software cost to write? Then perhaps it’s out of your depth to tell the internet how one of the largest producers of the most popular consumer products in your lifetime has no clue what they’re doing.
  4. For everyone who feels like you do, there are 5 that don’t. And they have YouTube channels.

So what do you think, champ? Still feeling up to it? Then fire away! Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.